The Tweet that started this was written by Sydney Watson @sydney_watson on March 19, 2019 at 0:40 and that tweet launched this conversation which I have re-drafted into a bit of an easier format to read.
The tweet “Strong women don’t have to play the gender card. We don’t try to be men. We don’t want preferential treatment or gender quotas to give us a leg up. We earn based on merit. If you’re a woman who wants to play the victim, don’t drag the rest of us down with you”.
When I reposted it I included the comment “Finally, a real feminist out there who understands the true meaning of the word”.
This was a comment to my post written by a female friend of mine,
“This is really your view? That women should take being treated as lesser in the eyes of male colleagues and company’s and just be stronger than that. I believe that’s what women have been doing. It’s just time that our counterparts stop putting barriers up where they’re unneeded. It’s about equality. This is BS”.
I had to respond to this as it appeared, she did not understand my intention of reposting the tweet. “No, quite the opposite. Yes, I agree with the view of this woman that, basically, your role in life should be based on merit and not shaming or special treatment. Treat everyone as equals. I’m sorry if you, as a woman, disagree”.
“I strongly dislike the idea that when a woman is treated differently that automatically when she says something about it then she is claiming to be a victim and that maybe she just needs to work harder”.
My reply about merit versus complaining louder,
“I think the point was that the position of equality should be based on personal merit and achievement and not just because you complained loudly enough. I looked back over my years in retail. I have had many bosses who were women. Including now. I didn’t see them as ‘women’ so much as someone who earned the position through hard work and experience. I feel the same for a man though, if you work for it you’ve earned it. I have never held the position of manager just because I was a man.”
I continued with my explanation of the short tweet’s possible intent,
“I see it more targeting those women (and I point out again that this tweet was written by a woman) who play the victim because they don’t want to do the work. I’ve seen it played out (the card) dealing with both race and gender. And the same applies to men, a man should not receive a position simply because he is a man. I think the posting was ‘simple and crude’ simply because you only get, what, 280 characters or something like that on twitter to express a viewpoint”.
More from me on ‘the bigger issue’,
“As to it being a ‘big issue’, we pretty much had the whole ‘equality’ thing sorted out by the 90s. It’s only the SJWs and nutcases that have come out of the Millennial generation that decided to drag it all into some scary place. I believe that people, Man or Woman, should be given their position in life-based on personal merit. They should work for it. Perhaps it’s because I’m a Man but I don’t see Women (in Canada at least) having to work harder to achieve things, jobs, whatever once held solely by Men simply because they are women. I know of many women in powerful and leadership roles who earned those positions through hard work (the level of work expected by anyone to achieve that outcome), education, experience, what you have".
Reverse discrimination in our 21st century society,
"In fact, over the last couple decades I’ve seen the needle flip the other way and now men are being discriminated against simply because they are men – let’s look at business. We have awards for women in business, scholarships to women, apprenticeships for women, grants to women in business, funding for women’s programs, et cetera, even education has swung in favour of female applicants”.
I continued how it’s the same for men or women in regard to advancement,
“Now I read your comment ‘I strongly dislike the idea that when a woman is clearly treated differently that automatically when she says something about it then she is claiming to be a victim and that maybe she just needs to work harder’. And you are right, IF that is the case. I have also seen the opposite. Where a woman was treated differently not because she was different but because she ‘expected’ something for nothing. I’ve seen it with men too. But I don’t think that’s what you mean. You are talking where she does what is expected of the role but still is treated differently because she’s a woman. She complains and the answer given is simply she just needs to work harder. There are some things this might apply, but I think in those jobs (like firefighting) those women who seriously go into the role to be that role know what is involved and know they have to work harder to overcome physical limitations that MIGHT be a factor”.
My response to what I believe was the point,
“But you are talking they did all the work and still didn’t get the role. Well, if that is the case, then it’s absolutely wrong. If you work hard for it you should earn it. However, like a man, women must also understand that sometimes they can work their butts off for something to achieve an end result and still not be chosen for the job or whatever. Sometimes, life isn’t fair, and your gender has nothing to do with it”.
My view of what ‘feminism’ means,
“This is not what the ‘feminists’ of the 60s and 70s were trying to achieve. All they wanted was to be treated fairly and equally. It wasn’t about getting a job as a firefighter it was about having the opportunity to get a job as a firefighter, but they knew then if you wanted it you had to earn it. You didn’t just go, as Trudeau did, well ‘you’re a woman here’s a job for you’ ‘because it’s 2015’. No self-respecting feminist would do that, at least not the ones I knew of growing up and the ones around today. They would want to get the education and go ‘here, I’ve worked for it and not I am going to apply for it, and you won’t stop me’. No self-respecting feminist would march up to a recruiter and say, ‘you must hire me because I’m a woman and that is all’”.
What do I mean when I say she has to work to get what she wants?,
“Erin Brockovich (movie) tried to explain it. The character, played by Julia Roberts, didn’t expect to be treated in a different way or given special treatment she just wanted to be treated equally. Now, one could say that she had to work twice as hard to achieve results but that is because she started later. Personally, I don’t know why she started later. But I have to wonder if, when she was younger, she didn’t use her sexuality to get what she wanted, and it was only when she was faced with that plan not working that she ‘woke up’ and chose a better path for herself. That’s my theory as a man at least.”
What about modern feminism?,
“And I think that was the whole point of this posting. That ‘contemporary feminism’ or ‘modern feminism’ has been corrupted and the true point of ‘feminism’ has been lost. And these virtue signalling days like ‘International Women’s Day’ (and yes, there is, in fact, an International Men’s Day too) do nothing to help the advancement of women to be seen and treated as equals. The problem is how it is treated in North America and the reasoning behind the day globally are two different animals entirely”.
So, do you support women’s rights?
“Not exactly. I guess it’s because I’ve always been an advocate for Human Rights over the rights of particular genders – male or female. Things like ‘women’s shelters’ bothered me because I know, from experience and knowledge, that men can be abused too and virtually nothing is said or done about it.”.
When I was growing up in the 70s and 80s,
“I was fortunate to grow up in a time when women were gaining equality when they could hold positions in jobs the same as men did (provided they could do the work, I mean there are conditions that are necessary regardless of gender when it comes to jobs like firefighting or whatever). Do women participate in sports now that were dominantly held by men before? I don’t know, do they?”
In regard to participating in sports in school,
“I participated in sports not because I wanted to but because I had to. In fact, if anything, being a man only made it worse. It’s too hard? Pfft, suck it up and get out there! But there were women’s leagues when they actually separated the genders from the more common co-ed activities, equal to the men. I guess I’m a man and I didn’t see the difference. That’s what a woman told me the other day, a woman is a senior management position at a company. Funny, if I had said that to a woman today, I’d be sued but apparently, it’s okay for a woman to say it to man these days”.
Another perspective on men in a woman’s world,
“I did another posting in regard to this women’s holiday, concerning November 19th International Men’s Day. It didn’t say how men how men now get paid the same as women or do jobs that were once dominantly women (and there are jobs, I can name 5 – cashiers, secretaries, flight attendants, nurses, and caregivers, all were and remain today, dominantly held by women)”.
The reality of Man in today’s world,
“No, this posting went on about how men account for more suicides than women, how men are the victims of violent crimes more than women, how more men than women are homeless, and how in cases of committing criminal acts men are incarcerated longer than women for the same crimes. And we won’t even get into things like child custody in divorces or child support. So here we have the women trying to get paid more and work in the same job versus men who are just trying to survive another day”.
What do you support?
“This is why I choose and support things that benefit humanity versus a particular race or sex or ethnicity. I donated for years to the Kids Help Phone because it helped kids and teens. It didn’t matter, back then, their gender or age or race. And now I support things like the Second Harvest food bank in Toronto, again because it benefits humanity over a particular whatever. Know this is only my limited personal opinion and my opinion grows and changes (despite what some women might say of men we can learn new things) but I think I was raised to be a good person and to try and treat everyone equally and fairly. I hope I do”.
Her response to my extensive commenting on this subject,
“I read all of your comments. I’m happy to hear your opinion with which I agree with nearly 100% of what you’ve said. I am so lucky to be in the position as a woman in this generation in Canada. Without going too far into detail I just feel extremely strongly about the fact that there is not complete equality yet in the world we live in today. I still am not a fan of this particular post, taking into consideration the limitation on words used on twitter. I’m tired of the extreme harshness voice by either side of the feminist movement. It should just be equalist. No one needs to get more or less opportunity just the same. I take into consideration the difference in body build and ability in different tasks. But generally speaking, I hate blaming instead of explaining. Feminism is misunderstood and generalized into so many negative things it hurts to watch and listen. Just know we stand on even ground on the topic to an extent and I’m sorry I spoke so accusingly. I know you’re a good guy and thank you for having the conversation with me”.
A few days later I read an article of how a woman received 148 lashes and a 38 year prison term in Iran for speaking up for women’s rights. Did I mention she is a lawyer? The Muslim crowd cheered as the woman was lashed, the article does not point out that the crowd was likely filled with both men and women observers.
My response to this on Facebook was this: “Meanwhile, in Canada, contemporary/modern feminists are praising women for occupying jobs (that men originally held) for over 20 years now like it's a recent accomplishment (and forgetting it was their mothers and grandmothers who fought and in some cases died, for those human rights they take advantage of today) and arguing over equal pay that most have already achieved (if not more when based on merit, not their sex).
I think our society needs a good smack off the side of the head to reexamine our priorities.
The International Women's Day in Canada, in my male opinion, should have been focusing on the atrocities that the United Nations AND CANADA allow to happen around the women against women - sex trafficking, physical abuse to the point of death, oppression from human rights such as education and having a voice, child marriage, FGM, honour killings, acid attacks, beheading, stoning, manipulation of our children's bodies through this gender-bending nonsense (the death of "childhood" as FP Vaughan noted in his #79 podcast). You can blame men for this, but I guarantee you it wasn't only men who stood by and watched this lashing take place.
I hope that for International Men's Day (November 19th) we look at things like the high suicide rates of men, the fact that more men than women die in violent crimes, that men are indoctrinated into violence and war as children in these same countries that oppress women. I don't want men to be weak and "feminists", I want men to be strong and know when it is right to use force to protect women and children like we were meant to. I want men to have equal rights in a divorce and not just be the piggy bank. I want us to steer men not away from their masculinity but back toward a role of strength, protector, builder of nations. I want this to be our "international effort".
Perhaps I am asking for too much?”
Freelance Online Writer, Amateur Photographer, Social Media Consultant, Website Content Manager