January 26, 2018
Today I’m continuing answering the questions from the questionnaire I mentioned in a previous entry.
Question: How close are you today to the person you were in high school?
In high school I had a couple close friends. I was nerdish but not too geekish. Two friends that I made way back mid way through elementary school and kept until early adult life. I have always been interested in politics and being a part of the democratic process. I think that might be the Aries in me, if you believe in that sort of thing. I tried running for student council in grade eight and grade twelve and, unfortunately because I was not one of the “cool kids” I lost both times. I investigated the idea of participating in it in college but decided that my path was taking me in a different direction. As an adult I ran for municipal council and finished at the second to the bottom of all candidates. Today I am still interested in politics though not as involved as a decade ago. I could see myself getting into it again but right now I just do not feel any specific party (geesh it really does not like the word “particular” for anything that I write) or group represents my vision of what the future should be.
In high school I played Dungeons & Dragons and now I play online metaverses like the Great Canadian Grid, so that’s similar.
In high school I was depressed, had a short temper and some issues with my health like allergies and poor posture. Now I get frustrated when things don’t make sense, suffer general anxiety and continue to have allergies and poor posture.
In high school I was single, there were girls I liked, a couple that I wish I had dated, but I did not date anyone until I had turned 18. We lasted six months, at the time she was over-emotional, and I was the opposite. I am single now, divorced, but I have dated and had consensual sex (would not want to give the wrong impression here since we all know how that happens) with several women since high school so that is certainly better.
Question: How does who you are now compare to what people thought of you back then? Overall do you feel that you exceeded or fell short of people’s expectations or you since high school?
Honestly, those who get to know me now and compare me to then would probably think me similar, though now I am far less emotional and a bit more openly opinionated. I am open but cautious, somewhat intelligent with an IQ around 115, a defender of equal human rights and still, despite all that has happened to me, a romantic at heart.
I think initially I might be viewed as falling short since I left college after my first year. But then they would see all the things I have done with my life since and some have thought me “brave”. I laugh, when I separated from my ex- and left my job in Ohio to move back to Ontario my boss at the time said I was brave. He said that to handle it the way I was, to lose my family my job my home and go back to somewhere I had not been in almost a decade. He could not do it he said. I see my life and just see choices I have made as the natural progression of life decisions.
Question: What kinds of feelings bother you the most?
Frustration, the knowing that something can be better, but circumstances do not allow it to be so.
Anxiety, the unknown or uncertain bothers me. I like stability and predictability. I hate surprises in all forms.
Question: How easy is it for you to trust someone?
In the past it was hard, then it got easier. Then people abused my trust so not it is not as easy. I would say it has evolved to a reasonable medium.
I plan on writing nine entries in my blog this week, one for every day I am off for vacation. Some days might have more than one, it depends on how inspired I am.
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