For those of you who know about the Law of Attraction you are probably familiar with The Secret and the book and video associated with that title. In the video it talks about how you live each moment and how life is a series of these moments. One of them talks about imagining yourself driving at night, headlights on, it's dark, and all you can see is the two hundred feet in front of you. and that's basically all life is, the next two hundred feet.
So tonight I'm driving home from Red Deer. I turned down my dash lights, my GPS off, radio off and I focused on the road ahead of me. I couldn't see the trees or much of the ditch just the asphalt stretched out before me. The point of the exercise, in not so literal terms, is that you can't see the future or control it. All you can do is focus on your life for the next two hundred feet.
What does that mean? Well, as I mentioned, life is a series of moments. Take my life right now. I'm unemployed and in two days I will be homeless. I'm not thinking about next week or next month or next year. If I did the "big picture" would be far too overwhelming to deal with. But taken in smaller doses, moments, it's not stressful at all.
I have laid out my plans for Saturday and Sunday leading up to my departure on Monday. The various tasks I must complete, bills to pay, things to do before I lose regular internet service. Each task is not that daunting and feels no different than it would any other day. It's all about living in the moments.
That's the negatives. Now, the positives. I'm basically all packed except the things I've used daily, clothing, computer, and so on. This means I have more "free time" than I ever did before and I'm using it. I've worked on a "real" letter to a friend. I've donated stuff to charity and a pile of DVDs to the library. I had a phone conversation for over an hour in which we talked about Canadian history. I've even taken in some fresh air and sunshine, albeit while sitting in my truck but still I was "out there". And that's the moments, it's a balance, between the ones you don't like dealing with and the ones you do.
But that's what makes "moments" and living in the moment so important. All you have to worry about is the next two hundred feet.
I'm applying for jobs, fine, and whatever, fine, and I'll be living out of my truck and off the charity of friends until I get settled, fine (and thank you!) but I'm not worried. I have faith that each "moment" is moving me toward something better. It usually does at this point.
I have a mantra I tell myself every time something goes wrong. "No matter how bad things get for you they are always worse for someone else". And that is SO TRUE. I have my health, I have a decent working vehicle which is paid for, I have few obligations, I have no family depending on me. I will survive. It could be far worse and it is for so many people out there. So whenever I feel like the world is standing on my shoulders and there's no relief in sight I repeat that mantra to myself over and over until I've cleared the bad juju from my thoughts. "It is always worse for someone else".
Do I have a plan? Of course I do, I don't leave my entire future up to chance. I have experience, a lot of it, and I'm applying for jobs. It's just a matter of time before my services are needed somewhere, until then, I love my truck ;) I could rent a place but to be honest I don't know where I'm going to end up next. I want to stay in Alberta, that's definitely at the top of my "needs" but I'm open to B.C. simply because it's just next door. My friends and family are back in Ontario (older ones) but like I said the other day "you can't move forward if you keep looking backwards. Doubt, regret, second guessing oneself are all looking back and you can't get anywhere new and forward trying to go where you have already been".
I decided I would write this blog even though it's very current and very referring to my life at this moment because many of my friends have just started hearing about my recent issues and I wanted to reassure them that all is well - those who know me and what I believe in will know that statement to be true.
It's all good.
Ad Revenue / Orange Key Fund Pending Donations to Charity:
of that balance the total donated to charity was:
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